I Quit Social Media For a Year. Now I’m Having a Hard Time Going Back
I have a love/hate relationship with my social feeds
How it Began
In early 2022, I decided to walk away from coaching. Part of that decision was my growing resistance to the way so many in the industry show up on social. It felt so fake, all the uber-glam lifestyle shots and wild promises of success.
And then there’s Reels and TikTok. I love to dance as much as the next girl, but I just couldn’t shake my bootie or perform like a circus dog to promote my business.
Shutting down my business also meant taking a break from social media. Logging out was bliss. I loved the deep inner peace that came with stopping the scroll. At first, I thought I’d miss it, but I never looked back as I got busy living life, planning my wedding and spending time with my family.
Late last year I rediscovered my love of writing and began posting on Medium again. It felt good to be back doing something that I’ve always found therapeutic and enjoyable. As I began to write on a regular basis, I started thinking about reviving my Instagram and Twitter accounts.
Why is it so hard to go back to using social media?
Every time I thought about going back to my social feeds, I encountered a level of resistance that caught me by surprise.
I would log in and scroll for a few minutes, stare long and hard at my profile and log back out without posting anything. I repeated the pattern a hundred times if I did it once.
Updating my profiles felt like a herculean task, but I eventually did the deed. Once I got over that hurdle, I logged in every few days; scrolling but not seeing, before logging out again.
It happened again this morning: Log on. Scroll. Stare mindlessly. Log out.
The thought of posting that first piece of content feels daunting. Should it be this big a deal? I keep asking myself why I’m so ambivalent about going back to social media.
It has me thinking back to 2021, when I posted on Instagram every day. I remember there being more days when social media stressed me out than days of it leaving me energized or motivated. A few memories popped immediately into my head:
- Feeling accomplished when publishing a post, followed by stress. And me, checking in several times a day to see how many likes, comments or new followers the post got
- Reading other people’s posts making pie-in-the-sky promises and bragging about their seven-figure businesses (“Take my course and you can too!”)
- Seeing picture after picture of over-the-top glam lifestyle photos taken during photoshoots with professional brand photographers
- Watching endless Reels of women in my industry doing the same song and dance routine. You know the one; pointing to words that magically appear on screen while dancing around to an upbeat tune. It felt so contrived. The algorithm’s preference for silly over serious content frustrated me.
I know the way coaches or business consultants promote their business on social media is their thing. They need to make money and they know what works for their business model and audience. It’s not their fault I felt stressed, irritated or frustrated — that’s all my stuff, and I own it.
The source of resistance
Looking back, I see how I let myself get sucked into the comparison trap. I was doing a great job coaching the clients I had and it was an awesome gift to witness their transformation. And I’ve been successful in my own right, starting out as a struggling single mom and overcoming the odds. I went from being broke and scared to leading global training at one of the world’s largest consumer health companies.
I have a track record of success, but it’s funny how that didn’t matter in the context of social media.
In a world of likes and follows, I felt utterly incompetent. I couldn’t bring myself to build a business by promising amazing lives and six figure incomes. And I’m an introvert, so dancing for the camera was never going to be my thing. Transparency is also something I value. My pictures are real life, not curated professional photos taken against a backdrop of breathtaking scenery.
Comparison is the thief of joy.
I’m starting to understand I need a different mindset if I’m going back to my social media accounts. Chasing the crowd and worrying whether I measure up is a dead-end road that will leave me stressed, saddened and disheartened. My motivation for going back to social needs to be an expression of my love of writing, not a comparison fest.
What’s Next?
These moments of introspection have given me something to think about. For now, I’m mulling over how I can approach social media in a different way — one that brings more joy and less stress.
I’m sure I’ll get back there and when I do, I won’t waste precious time comparing my journey to anyone else’s.
Have you ever taken a break from social media? What did you learn? I’d love to hear your experience.
